A Small Candle light

today, i was asked by a teacher " what's the symbol of your life? ".
i keep to think, "actually,who am i..."
i had very bad memories,veryverybad and i just couldn't be deal with. i'm to afraid to tell them, to tell everyone that i was once hated by every child in my class.back to when i was in 1st grade of school,it was my first time to be in school,and just like an innocent child would do, i was tried to made friends.
since i was a child,i love to made friends,no matter what they are,no matter what their status, religion, and what clan and even my family said that i have to always put first priority to my own parts but i really want to make friends,
some friends that my mom can accept it are only claire,vina,sanny,owen,ferry,and gio.the friends that being with me since i was only a toodler.and else,she'll never let me being to close
then, now.I have so many friends,and i can say that thy're close enough to me,glad to have them with me even my mom often to keep warn me and sometimes not even let me to hang out with them without one of my lifetime friends be with me to but i do really happy..
altough i've know that not everyone can stand by my friendly act.Some may be upset and feels disturbed.
i've had tried my best to warm,to keep smile,to keep being friendly and no matter what i won't hate people and the fact that i even couldn't but i know,
NOT EVERYONES GOING TO USE A CANDLE LIGHT FOR THEIR LIGHTING IN THE DARK.
i dream of to be a candle,to use my strenght to be the light for who's in the dark,but also i have to admit that not everyone going to be accept and like you easily,Xaveria Agnes Faustine Sanjaya :")

It's quite a lot i've been gone through judgement.Some judge me before they know about me,judge me because my act just because i am noisy,geek,nerd,and so do i...
but the most hurting part, they judge me before they know who am i.and without asking me they spread they hates feeling and here i am, can't even hate them who did dig up my heart and it's hurt.
i want to hate,but how....i've always end up being hurt and hated by the doer and yet,i can't hate cause i know,there's no point of hating them even if i can.
so....
hate me as much as you want,judge me as much as you want before i can avenge what you did to me before :")