Second Chance

in the one calmly day,a physic interviews a ghost,

Physic : What's cause you died ?

Ghost : Some matter, because i want to protect someone that i love

Physic : let's say, you're got hit by a truck ?

Ghost : Yes, it was

Physic : The one that you love, must be sad now,don't you ever think about how desperate she'll be ?

Ghost : Nope, she's deffinetly be happy now

Physic : Why ?

Ghost : Because the one that i save, is someone that she loves.

               -and then the ghost appear off leaves that physic by himself. In the other day, he meet the ghost for the second time-

Physic : I wonder, what's make you stay...

Ghost : Because someone can't let me leave freely yet

Physic : Who is it ?

Ghost : The one that i loves,the one that i thought would be happier if someone that she loves alive, gives me so much tears, i can't even take a next-life step.

Physic : who are you to her ?

Ghost : i'm her very bestfriend,a boy who loves her in silent, we fight like a wedding couple, we talk like a lover, and we care each other like a sibling, i'm her only bestfriend..

Physic : poor you for not even notice that you're that important to her

Ghost : i wonder if God would give me a second chance for me to protect her as a life person, not a ghost..

More than words can say

yes here i am, writing post in this blog with a different condition that even me never expects thing like this to be happen in my life.
semua orang tau, hidup di dunia ini ga akan selamanya, we are not immortal, and someday, we are gonna be back to our father house, to heaven.
kata orang, hidup hanyalah sebuah sandiwara, dimana kita seperti sebuah boneka yang ditugaskan untuk menjalankan misi di dunia oleh Bapa, seperti Bapa yang menugaskan anak-anakNya untuk membantuNya.Kita bekerja, mewartakan,belajar,menyelesaikan segala tugas di dunia dan kemudian berpulang kerumah Bapa.
Tapi satu yang bahkan gua sendiri ga mengerti..
kejadiannya sekitar seminggu yang lalu, dimana gua mengalami kejadian yang gua sendiri ga percaya bisa terjadi di hidup gua, kejadian dimana Tuhan mengambil lagi orang yang berarti buat gua untuk kesekian kalinya..kadang gua ga ngerti kenapa..yang biasanya gua liat di sinetron banyak orang bilang "kenapa sih harus terjadi di hidup gua", yang bahkan menurut gua itu hiperbolis,tapi gua sendiri ternyata kepikiran kata-kata ini in my own mind.
untuk tahun 2012-2013, gua kehilangan beberapa orang yang sangat gua sayang, salah satunya is the hero of my life, he is my DAD.

• Kejadian yang pertama, gua kehilangan someone "special". DGK,kita semua nyebut itu kaya pertemuan by fate.it is FATE which is gather us together like we are all have been known each other for a long time.Tuhan mempertemukan gua sama mereka waktu gua di SMP,dan gua percaya kalo itu bukan hanya sekedar kebetulan,menurut gua kebetulan ga akan kaya "the story of us", gua ketemu mereka di saat yang sama, di tahun yang sama,bahkan di moment yang sama, yaitu di saat kita menjalankan salah satu misi kehidupan siswa.dan bahkan pertemuannya sangatlah unik,ga kaya pertemuan lainnya.mereka,...owen,toto,hansen,sampith,jojo,willi,metha,vernanda,rio and especially sanny,clairine,vina.boleh deh sebut aja gua lebay,tapi menurut gua,ada kengahatan di antara mereka yang cuma gua sendiri dan mereka yang rasain. COMPLICATED.dan tahun kemaren,gua kehilangan beberapa dari mereka,especially him.awalnya gua ngerasa bodoh dengan jalan yang gua ambil,gua nyesel,kalo aja gua ga ambil langkah dengan dia ke yang lebih jauh,harusnya kita masih sama-sama.gua merasa bodoh.
• Kejadian yang kedua,bikin gua hidup kaya mumi,awalnya.seminggu kemarin rasanya soul gua itu ga nempel sama badan,tenaga,pikiran,sama memory gua semua udah kaya benang kusut.Dad, is the most important person for me,semua apa yang gua pengen di beliin,ya..pokoknya someone who's really pay a lot attention to me,perjuangan bokap gua dari gua kecil,yang ga pernah gua sadarin sampe akhirnya gua tau semua dari cerita orang-orang,suddenly tears come out,a lot,and so loud.this is the very saddest part of my life that i could't even imagine,what i know till this very second is that Dad loves his little daughter very much more that everything.and that dad always sees me as his little daughter whose never growing and out of child ego.now that i can't even see him again,even once,the more my tears come out, the more pain in my chest,the more i feels like i can't continue on living.i'm at the deepest point.

but then i realized, when i am the deepest ground part,lights come to me,God sends his angels to me..

my FRIEND is God's angels. 

thank you guys, for not leaving my side :')

semua tangan-tangan mereka terulur buat gua.Bahkan gua sendiri ga nyangka,gua pikir yang peduli pasti sedikit tapi ternyata mereka dateng to my Dad's funeral.Clairine,she holds my hand, dari awal gua mulai tersandung,jatuh ke lubang kehidupan terdalam, sampe gua merangkak keluar pelan-pelan dari lubang itu,juga mereka yang bikin gua  inget gimana caranya senyum,gimana caranya keluar dari lubang kehidupan terdalam, all of them...more than words can say..

Bitterness

bitter is best when it's come to a piece

in this world, peace is the best, and as i thought...love is best when it's sweet. Pointless if it's only full of betrayal, it's hurt the most when the thorn touches your heart deeply. even though this chocolate is bitter, but only by this bitterness the thorn covered up.
and bitter is best when it's come to a piece.

I knew you were trouble - Taylor Swift

Once upon time
A few mistakes ago
I was in your sights
You got me alone
You found me
You found me
You found me

I guess you didn't care
And I guess I liked that
And when I fell hard
You took a step back
Without me, without me, without me

And he's long gone
When he's next to me
And I realize the blame is on me

Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places i'd never been
So you put me down oh
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places i'd never been
Now i'm lying on the cold hard ground
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble

No apologies
He'll never see you cry
Pretend he doesn't know
That he's the reason why
You're drowning, you're drowning, you're drowning

And I heard you moved on
From whispers on the street
A new notch in your belt
Is all I'll ever be
And now I see, now I see, now I see
He was long gone
When he met me
And I realize the joke is on me

I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places i'd never been
So you put me down oh
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places i'd never been
Now i'm lying on the cold hard ground
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble

When your sadest fear comes creeping in
That you never loved me or her or anyone or anything
Yeah

I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places i'd never been
So you put me down oh
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places i'd never been
Now i'm lying on the cold hard ground
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble

I knew you were trouble when you walked in
Trouble, trouble, trouble
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
Trouble, trouble, trouble!

Christopher's 17yo birthday

on Nov 29th /2012. yesterday, christopher ,well usually i call him toto or piggy, my one of boybestfriend held his birthday it was in Central park near our school and we ate in "Shabu Slim".
he treated so many people,count me in, then his girlfriend (one of my girlbestfriend) clairine,gio,ferry,owen,lele,dila,shanti,albert,arvin,michael,jumo,jutang,tirta,andy,erik...to tell the truth,my mind was so loud with some kind of voice like "what a nice boy..that's really is my bestfriend! :D " LOL. but not only him, buttt ALLLL my besfriend are trully great,nice,and yeah,you can imagine that,nevertheless the ain't going to cause troublesome thingy.
and here's some stupid photo taken :D
and sorry i've just take the photo which is contain me inside :')