Jadi Apa ?

Judulnya agak nyolot.

 SO WHAT ?

hhahahahaha, garing.

oke gua disini bukan mau ngelucu

kondisinya sekarang gua lagi terjebak dalam status pengangguran, kenapa ?

gua baru aja selesaiin UN tingkat SMA, gua bukan lagi pelajar, dan gua juga udah legal, yap. 17 taun.

tapi gua ga kerja juga, dirumah, bengong, tidur, makan, nonton, maen, tidur lagi makan lagi.

cuma itu keseharian gua sekarang.

sekarang gua tau rasanya jadi pengangguran itu miserable.

sempet kepikiran pengen part time.

 tapi, 

misalnya nih ya lu part time di salah satu mall tempat makanan cepat saji, tiba2 sodara lu ato kenalan lu ato bahkan lebih parah lagi mantan gebetan lu pas sd ato tk ngeliat lu lagi nyuci piring ato nganterin nampan makanan ato jadi kasir,

dengan tampang gua yang sekarang, bisa dibilang puberty ga bantu gua sama sekali, maka gua tidak akan diragukan bakalan jadi priceless, yeah, PRICELESS.

jadi gua mikir 2 kali.

mungkin gua emang tidak diciptakan buat produksi sesuatu. bisa aja kan ternyata talenta gua itu me-manage. contoh : manager hotel, manager restaurant, manager pabrik sabun.

jadi kerjaan jadi kuli bangunan dan tukang masak ataupun tukang sabun ga cocok buat gua, well, i'm lazy.

dan untung gua males. 

gua mulai rada bingung mikirin apa yang akan gua lakukan selama 3 bulan nganggur.

mungkin kalo gua iseng bisa aja gua bikin videoclip kontroversi, bisa terkenal 5 bulanan lumayan kan, abis itu lenyap lagi dan berusaha tampil lewat usaha audisi nyanyi, siapa tau gua banting setir jadi komedian ato penyanyi kan. who knows.

gua mulai mikirin susahnya cari kerja, sekarang aja susah apalagi setelah gua lulus kuliah.

biasa gua minta tolong nyokap kalo mau cariin sekolah lanjutan, masa mau kerja juga harus nyokap gua yang cariin, gakgak, gua gabisa jadi manja terus.

diatas kalimat gua dewasa banget, akhirnya gua berhasil cobacoba nulis kalimat dewasa buat motivasi pembaca, siapa tau gua bisa jadi tangan kanan ato presenter acara motivasi kaya *ario te*uh.(if you know what i mean)

makin lama gua makin ngaco, makin bingung akan jadi apa, yang paling bikin gua bingung lagi kenapa setelah puberty gua ga berubah jadi beauty. 

 

I hope they know

   In a short amount of time, i''m going to graduate from high school.
I'm happy of course, that's obvious to feel happy after you finished something that's such a pain in the ass like school.
you won't be forced to wake up so early, study like hell for exams, and go home in exhausted state.
but
have you ever think,something that you've been doing all the time,and suddenly you'll not going to do it anymore, will only make you miss it.
after some time, you're gonna miss to wake up so early to go school, to see your friend, to learn together, sit and each your lunch together, grin over your crush in the hallway while your friends will be teasing you because of it, fall asleep in the class because your teacher and the subject is too boring.

you're gonna miss it.

for me, yeah, I'm happy cause i'm going to graduate soon, and yet, can't i be sad too ? it turns out to be farewell anyway.
the next step will be a whole different world.
in university, the teacher won't remind you to do your homework, your friend will not bother to ask you to the the task together, you'll be sit and eat your lunch alone while your friend having their class, they won't hang out to you so often like your high school friend would do. it'll be sad even more,
the fact that you won't see yout crush walking in the hallway chatting with his friend anymore.

you know, i can't hold my tears while writing this post.

I hope my friends know, i want to be together with them as much as i can, creating memories as much as we can, i want them to keep contact with me, i want them to keep hang out with me.
i don't want to forget my crush too, i want him to know, i'm not joking about my feelings for him, i want him to know how long i've been kept this feeling for him, and i want him to know, that we can still be friends.

this post is so sad i'm gonna die.

happiness is just a bullshit afterall,
why ?
because the facts that not everyone in this world can completly feel happy....
I don't know what i feel anymore.
I've been wearing countless mask on my face. but people probably don't care, do they ?
they offer me only piece of cheap thing, covered in gold. and i got really happy.
well, you know, something that only looks good on the outside.
when i got home, and opened that thing, see ? it's only a cheap thing and the gold is fake. then again, my tears would fall.
it's not beacause i'm angry. it's because i'm sad.
i'm sad not because it's a cheap thing that i recieved. but thats because  i regret, regret why i would i get happy over fake thing and then after that i would be very sad. moreover the sad that i feel is painful.