There is a girl, she is not very attractive, but she really tickles my attention. It have been 2 years since my eyes caught in her. but we never really speak to each other before
fortunately, in this last year of junior high school, she is in the same class with me.
even though my seat is not located beside her, it's no big deal for me. just looking at her everyday is enough for me to make my day.
Day passed in a blink of eye, same goes for month. I'm too busy on putting my eyes at her to the extent i'm forget about graduating. then i decided to confess to her. if i'm going to be rejected, at least she know about how much she means to me, i want her to know, i like her, no...to put it bluntly, I love her. so, i give her a letter, i'm not giving to her directly though, i make it hidden inside her notebook. i have faith, i believe, my feeling will reach her, so i'm possitive she would come.
I arrive too quickly, ahead of her. it is better anyway, i can spend time on thingking and practicing about how to greet her.
09.30 am. she sure is late. still, i'm still waiting for her. well maybe i can find a drink to relax myself, i remember in the other in the street outside this park there is a drink machine. i'm going there.
suddenly, i hear noises, like a car horns multiple times, all the things that i see is only a very bright light that makes me blind, i can't see what's coming over me, and all the things that i remember is only i'm bleeding and it really hurts, i fall down,inside my head is all blank, many people come over me, they surrounded me and there in the center, i see her, but she is crying louldy and shouted my name again and again.
I wake up. it's 08.00 o'clock in the morning. i don't clearly remember things, so in rush, i take a bath, preparing for shcool because i'm sure it's already this late, so mom,dad,and bro wont be at home right now. i prepare myself and then go to school.
something is a bit different, i don't know, maybe the atmosphere ? a bit cold and chill, even though it is still summer. GOSH! i remember, now it's summer and i'm sure that i have an appointment with her!then i run to school.
they're not looking at me, even though i think i might be attract attention, the teacher, no... she's not scolding me, she's not even bother to look at me. why...
they're not my classmate, where are they ?! what's going on.
this one too, they face are totally different, i don't know them, who are they? even my schoolmates, none of them are someone whom i know. eh, no, there's one, tatsuki! in my class, but! he is my junior fella, why is he in my class? he supposed to be in 2nd year.
still don't know what's happening, suddenly, in far, i see nobara. i see her, in high school uniform,walking with a boy which i don't know who. they're walking towards my school high school building. things are going complicated in my mind,
since when she is a high school student?! when did she graduate?! is she already know my feelings, then,then what about that boy? who is he ?! why...why am i feels like i'm being left behind?
i see many of familiar faces, they're my school fella, some of my classmates are there too! they heading towards high school building, they looked all grown up. like about in my big brother age
what's going on?!
i'm standing in front of my potrait self picture at home, mom's changing the water, replaced the food with a new one and also put some flower in front of my potrait photo as if the photo of me is alive,yes, as if i am alive, even though in reality... i'm dead already. i was die in accident.at that day.
'knock knock' 'ting tong'
someone's coming, mom opened the door, and there, i see nobara, her hair is grow longer, she is taller than i remember she was, and she is...prettier. she is with that boy.
" Nobara, thankyou for coming ", mom is very welcoming her
"it's nothing auntie, it's my pleasure too, also, this year, i'm coming with him, he is Taici, he is my boyfriend, i let him know the whole story, is it okay ? " Nobara calmly explain everything to mom with smile, a very bright smile that even i haven't seen it before, a smile dedicated when she is introduce her boyfriend to my mom....
mom let them in, please them to sit, and then they begin to talk about things in the past
" it's still hard for this family to accept all the sudden things. sorry for that nobara-san.."
" no, really it's alright, it's only been 2 years though, i understand. my classmate and his friend also, still can't used to this condition.." and suddenly, nobara quit talking
"....me too, still sometimes can't forgive myself..." she's crying...no, nobara, it's not your fault, don't give me that sad face, don't cry.. i do really want to swipe those tears, but you see, when i reach my hand out, i can't touch you.. nobara.. " if only i was arrive 30minutes early, if only i was brave enough to greet him, to talk to him, to tell him that i'm happy that he cares for me those whole time..i wish i could tell him thankyou.." nobara's cries in silent, all i can do is only staring at her, mom's tears also come out, she stroke nobara's silky long hair, and that boy, holds her hand tightly
but i know, he hates it, he hates that tears comes out because nobara is thinking about another boy that even he doesn't know what he looks like, what kind of person he is, i know...because that is what i feels right now towards him holding her hand.
it's about time to them to go home...nobara's walking towards where my potrait self photo. then she smiled at me, it's not a sweet smile, rather it is a bitter smile...
"stupid nakamura.." she whispered ,
"if only you were braver to talk to me, if only you were smile to me more often, if only you were a bit more patient to wait for me..Nakamura, thankyou for always took care of me, thankyou for always noticed me,thankyou for not leaved your eyesight from me, and thankyou..for gave me a chance to felt what is first love feels like...."
and then i burst out my tears, i don't know, i don't know what to do, but it really can't stop
"nakamura...?", suddenly she raised her hands to me,like she's going to reach something, at the same time i feels lighter than before, i'm flowing and at that second, i touch her, she can touch my hand. with a bitter smile and tears mixing up.
" thanks auntie, take care," i said it for the last time, this is will be the last time for me to visit him, to coming to nakamura's house, this will be the last.
" thankyou nobara-san,for this whole time, don't worry if you feels like comng over again, i will be happily welcoming you "
" no, auntie..actually, this will be the last time, i'm sorry " in guilty, i said it to his mom, rather than being angry, she smiled and hugged me, " good.. no it's okay nobara, no problem..go..and have a new story of your life "
i put everything into an end, between me, and nakamura, which was haven't been settled and we both will never can settled things. but it's okay now, now i know everything is already end. for me, and more importanly for him. to have a new life.
" Tachi-kun, do you want to know "
suddenly taichi grabs my hand, and squeeze it tightly,
" let me hear your story nobara..", he smiled
" when i was in junior high school, there's a boy, he is Nakamura, at first i saw him wandering around under the sakura tree in front of our school,at first i don't know why, but then when i purposedly avoiding him, he bumped into me, and he said 'sorry, i lost my glasses', you know what, it was love at the first sight, then i handed him his glasses, and from that very moment i know he never leave even a bit his eyesight from me. "
" why did you know he never leave his eyesight from you ? " Taichi asked
" because the only one that i only cared at that times was only him, i was never leave my eyesight from him, and poor him, he seemed to never know about this.."
Nobara, be happy, this unrequited love will forever be unrequited..once again, a tears comes down from my face, but you know, this is tears of happiness
